13 November 2015

Let's Chat | Making assumptions about people


I like to keep these pages positive and lighthearted but sometimes you have to be a little deeper, not so much to have a rant (well...maybe sometimes) but also so I can maybe use this platform as something that you guys can maybe relate to. It's about something that I notice a lot, and probably more so since I started blogging. The basic gist of it is that people will always make assumptions about you and think they know exactly what your life is like and what you're going through, not realising the effect it can have.

I've always been the kind of person that doesn't really show when I'm feeling upset unless it's to the people closest to me, and because of that, people that are only just getting to know me get the impression that I'm always happy and that everything in my life is going perfectly. As nice as that would be, the majority of us know that's impossible, no-one can be happy all the time or have things in their life going smoothly all the time - it just doesn't happen. Yet when I've offered advice to people in the past, I've had them say things like 'it's easy for you to say because you're always happy' - and to be honest it's really patronising when you're trying to be there for them and offer advice even though you're not that close.

When it comes to me, the truth is I'm just terrible at showing it, and in situations where you're not as comfortable around certain people yet, it's easier to act fine than have to explain what's going on repeatedly. I hate being put on the spot and the thought of having to talk about things that make me feel uncomfortable in front of people only leads to the dreaded anxiety kicking in. Anyway, my point is, that's my choice and my way of dealing with things and everyone has their own way. We all lose people we love, make decisions we regret etc and end up having to deal with the repercussions. Some people choose to wear it on their sleeve, because that's their way of dealing with things, but the fact some people deal with it differently on the outside doesn't determine how they feel inside. It doesn't mean you're a cold or distant person, just sometimes it's hard to show how you're really feeling until you're completely comfortable around someone, and that's ok.

Insecurity is another issue I've noticed this cropping up in - certain people having this idea that some have a right to be insecure and others don't, based on the way they look. Just because you think someone is pretty, doesn't mean they can't have times where they feel like they're not. If you post photo's of your makeup and outfits on social media, blog etc then you must be really comfortable with the way you look 100% of the time, right?...wrong.  I've seen it endlessly on Instagram, with people making passing comments to people they don't know, insisting that they have inflated ego's and that they could never understand what feeling insecure is actually like. The truth is, as much as it sucks, we all have days where we feel like we don't look as good as we'd like, so there's literally no need to make  judgements on how someone else can and cannot feel.

The same thing happens with celebrities I guess. People seem to think that because celebrities have money and fame, that they have no reason to be unhappy, forgetting that they are people just like us. Their money and fame can't stop them from losing people they love, having troubled relationships or making mistakes like the rest of us. This is why it makes me so upset when someone in their position states to have something like depression and are met with reactions like 'what do they have to be depressed about? they have everything I could ever dream of' - but that's exactly the point, it's not about you, it's about them. They have every right to feel the way they do without others pushing assumptions onto them, which can only really make someone feel worse and under so much pressure.

If you find yourself being told that you're not allowed to feel a certain way or being patronised about whatever you're going through, then realise that it is a reflection of them and not you. I'm pretty sure some days my mood and self-confidence change about 17346 times, and I deal with it in my own way or with the people who understand me supporting me. Ignore the people who live to make judgements about others, and use it to bring you down, and do what makes you feel comfortable and allows you to live your life in a healthy way.

I hope that this post has meant something to some of you, and even if one of you has related/feel reassured by this post, then it'll make writing it more than worth it! Let me know your thoughts below and speak to you soon - 
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28 March 2015

Let's Chat | Internet Hate

I try to keep this blog as positive as I can but in these chatty posts sometimes I have to address crappy topics like this one in the hope that you guys can relate and it'll reassure you that you're not the only one feeling this way! We've all come across bullying and hateful comments on the internet at some point, and I usually find it unbelievable that people can say the things that they say and think it's okay because it's online and they can't be seen. 

In the past I've had to deal with girls generally making comments towards me, and that is something that happened from my teenage years. It sucks that some of the things that were said to me so lightly and without a second thought, are actually things that have contributed to the insecurities that I carry around with me to this day. In terms of getting these comments online, I'm grateful that I haven't received them as much as I know some people have but of course there are a few people that have left some quite unkind comments, and all I could think was that it made no sense to me why you would take the time out of your day to state you don't like something. I mean when I don't like what someone is wearing etc I don't go to the effort to tell them, because at the end of the day they didn't wear those clothes for me, they wore them for themselves and because it makes them happy.

I've seen the comments come from young girls, boys and even grown adults, and to be honest I don't know which one is worse. What I do know is that there is a difference between saying that you don't like the shorts that someone is wearing, and saying that they have an ugly face or a bad body shape. Purposely picking on an aspect of a person that you know they can't change is just wrong, that's the face and body that they have and they deserve to be happy with it, nobody should have the right to tell them otherwise. Just remind yourself that the person you're saying things to isn't an emotionless being on the internet, they're a person with feelings, and you saying those things could potentially make them stop doing what they actually love. Putting others down won't make you any better so instead of picking out the 'flaws' in other people, maybe work on your own instead. 

Of course this post isn't going to make a big difference to the bigger picture of internet hate, but the more of us that pick up on stuff like this and talk about it, the better. If you're the kind of person who leaves those comments, then maybe you need to reconsider whether you're okay with being part of the reason why people develop insecurities, self-dout and even distorted self images that could potentially end up being life threatening for them. Next time you think to leave a comment like that, remember how you would feel if that was your sibling, partner or best friend, and if you come to realise that you're not okay with it then choose to actually say something nice or say nothing at all. 

If you're reading this and you've received comments about the way you look, your weight or the clothes you wear, remember that the problem is not with you, it is with the person who has nothing better to do with their time, so don't let them stop you from posting what you like or doing what you like. I have two younger sisters and the thought of someone saying these things to them and making them doubt themselves is honestly pretty heart breaking, so support each other if you see someone getting put down about themselves, and most of all don't let someone that doesn't even know you tell you who or what you are. 

I'd love to know what you guys have to say on this topic and if you've had any experiences with internet hate or bullying. Leave your comments on it below as I think it'll definitely help others to see they're not the only ones! Speak to you soon, hopefully on a happier note - 

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21 February 2015

Let's Chat | My 5 Blogging Don'ts

Hey guys! I've seen a few posts recently with lists of what we should do as bloggers, most of them quite specific in terms of content, for example how often we should post, the need for a niche, and even what we should and shouldn't post. I don't agree that any of us should have to abide by  'rules' when choosing what we write about, because at the end of the day it's our own little section of the internet and we should be able to post what we want to post, if we didn't then every blog would be the same and it would get very boring indeed. So in light of that I thought I'd create this post with some broader tips of what I think could be useful in the blogging world, whether you're just starting out or have been doing it for a while. 

1. Don't compare your beginning to someone else's middle. This is a tough one because it's so hard to not compare ourselves to other bloggers, especially some of the biggest bloggers out there and it can definitely get people down in the dumps about their own blog. I used to do this so much in the beginning because let's face it, I was clueless on all aspects of blogging and everyone seemed to be doing everything 10x better than me. Now that I've been doing it for a while longer, it's easier to see that nothing constructive was ever going to come of me comparing the blog I'd started 5 months before, to blogs that had been growing for years. Everyone started at the beginning, there is no shortcut and everyone who got to where they are now did so because they worked hard, so rather than sitting there and comparing your blog in a negative way, turn it around and think of your strengths and what steps you can take to keep growing your blog. No-one has ever got to the top of a ladder without climbing it first.

2. Don't be negative about the success of others. As lovely as the majority of the blogging community is, there are always going to be exceptions, mainly expressing their jealousy at the success of others in a pretty immature way. I really don't understand the point in it at all, because in my opinion their success in no way affects how well you will do as a blogger so you may as well just be happy for people because you'd want people to be happy for you if you were in their position. 

3. Don't spam on social media. No-one likes it and your spam would definitely not be an exception to that. Use social media not just to promote your latest post, but also for what it was designed for - to actually interact with and get to know others like yourself. Of course you can post your links because after all the hard work you want to put it out there for people to see, but for the love of god don't do it every 15 minutes and have it be the only thing you ever tweet because people will get fed up  of what seems like a robot throwing links left, right and centre on their feed. Again, it takes effort and hard work, and you need to make effort with people, they don't owe you anything and they would be taking the time out of your day to read your post. Talking and getting to know other amazing bloggers has been one of the biggest benefits of blogging for me so definitely take advantage of it! 

4. Don't start blogging for freebies. From an outside perspective I can see how blogging would look like an easy way to get free stuff, but honestly that is not what it is about at all. It is a lot of hard work, time keeping, creativity and constantly trying to come up with content, and getting sent products to try out is barely a fraction of what's involved in blogging. It is lovely getting sent things from brands, but it is definitely not something you should 'expect' or feel like you have a right to getting just because you've started a blog - it doesn't just happen, it takes a lot of hard work and you get a lot of offers of things that you will most likely not accept anyway. 

5. Whatever you do, don't buy your followers. This defeats the purpose of blogging and will make you lose credibility. It applies to any social platform and there is no point in having 10K followers when you don't actually have people engaging with you about your content. A follower number is definitely not the be all and end all and it means nothing if you don't actually have people that enjoy your blog, I don't know about you but to me it would just feel like posting to an empty audience and that's not what blogging is about at all. Following and unfollowing people to gain followers will also make you lose credibility and people may go from actually considering reading your blog, to just finding you plain annoying. Just don't do it. 

So those are my top five blogging dont's - I'd really love to know your thoughts on them and if you have any to add -
Speak to you soon!! 
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11 December 2014

Let's Chat | Living in the Moment


Recently I've found myself in conversations, or overheard conversations where people don't really seem to be listening to each other. Instead it's more like they're just waiting for the other person to finish so that they can make their own input, or go off and do their own thing. I won't try to claim that I've never done it before because I probably have without even realising (who doesn't get ahead of themselves when they think they have something brilliant to say...), but I know that it's something that isn't made easier by technology and constantly being on our phones, and I want to get better at it.
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6 November 2014

Let's Chat | Confidence


Confidence is a weird concept, it can be an amazing thing, but it's definitely weird. You can feel great about yourself one minute and then the next you can feel pretty down in the dumps, and sometimes you can never know what the hell happened to make it change. It's not about physical confidence and the way that you look, I mean that does come into it, but it's being confident within yourself and your abilities that really matters, and everything else basically flows along with that. It's pretty hard to tell what causes us to feel more or less confident in certain situations, but through my life I've learned that if you're not feeling confident within yourself, the words of other people don't really have the same effect. The same thing goes for if you are confident in yourself, the opinions of others won't really bother you because at the end of the day you know what matters, and their opinion isn't it.
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17 October 2014

Let's Chat | Pressure about the future

I've been feeling quite pressured lately, not because of anything bad happening in my life, but because sometimes we don't really know what to make of the situation we're in. Of course pressure comes at all ages and in different forms, but what I'm getting at is that if you're my age, you might be feeling the same way in that you are expected to know exactly what you want to do with your life, and more frustratingly, expected to know exactly what to do in order to get there. Being 20, I don't remember a time when I wasn't in education, and I don't mind that - I love to learn, but I haven't known anything other than being in education, so how am I supposed to know what I want to do for the rest of my life? A lot of my friends seem to agree with me, and it's easy to see why because that's a hell of a lot of years to account for.
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7 September 2014

Let's Chat | Are Women Not Allowed To Age?

Ageing Photoshop Controversy Wrinkles Jennifer Lopez David Beckham Bradley Cooper
I know this one looks lengthy, but it was pretty necessary and I think it's worth a read (...even if I do say so myself!)

It’s no secret that in the times we live in, the media and beauty industry have such a strong hold on society, and with this comes the obsessive focus on physical appearance and what is seen as beautiful, contributing to the growing obsession with anti-ageing, with the majority of the focus and pressure seeming to be on women rather than equal between the sexes.
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26 August 2014

Let's Chat | Unsupportive bloggers?

Image Source - Pinterest.

This is something that has been bugging me for a while, and I'm sure that some of you may have picked up on it too. I'm not entirely sure yet if I want to publish this because I'm in two minds, mainly because I don't want people to take it the wrong way, but also because it's only really a tiny percentage of people that actually do it and the community as a whole is so lovely.
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18 August 2014

Let's Chat | Growing Up


When I first started this blog, I would post something chatty once a week where I would discuss random things with you guys, whether they be topics of inspiration, confidence or general chit chat, and I thought I would bring that back because I do really enjoy making them and I think they are one of my favourite posts to create. Today I'm going to talk to you about the ever confusing topic of 'growing up'

Ever since I was a little girl, I've always been confused about the concept of growing up and what it actually meant. Up to the age of around 15, growing up seemed to be something that would one day just happen, and you would suddenly know how to act, and make important decisions. I don't know if it was just me but I would look at adults and think that they were in this whole new section of life where they were completely separate to teens and they no longer saw things the way people younger did. It was in my mid-teens where I began to realise that it just doesn't work like that and there isn't a moment where it all just clicks and you feel grown up all of a sudden - even now that I'm 20 I still feel like I'm 16 and I have no idea where the years have gone. 

Don't you think it's weird how we are all expected to act a certain way when we get to a certain age? because I don't think that as a person I am any different to who I was a few years ago,  I know I'm at uni now, but I mean really as a person deep down I don't think I'm any different. I've realised that we just all learn things along the way and do the best we can with what is put in front of us, nothing happens to make us prepared for everything that may come our way, that's why I try to stay positive and pick myself up when I mess up at something, because we don't come with a manual on life, and sometimes we just don't know what we're doing.  The way that we see the world now may still be the same as we do when we're 40, regardless that we'll probably have experienced a lot more and may have better understandings of things than we do now, but I hope that I will never let my age stop me from doing the things I love just because I am expected to act a certain way. I mean I'm not saying I'll still be going to the club with my friends when I'm 40, but I can guarantee I'd still scream as loudly if I met DiCaprio as I would now, and I will probably love going out for dinner with friends and buying new dresses just as much as I do now.

I think the little things inside you that make you who you are, never really change. But those are just my thoughts and I know everyone has different views on growing up, what are yours? 

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17 August 2014

Let's Chat | A Blogging Break


You may have noticed that I haven't blogged in about two weeks, not because I was fed up of it, or I was enjoying it any less, but because I felt like all of a sudden I had so much going on outside of blogging, that it was making me feel like I was struggling to come up with fun ideas on what to write about, and generally a little uninspired. I didn't like that feeling because I associate my blog with being happy, inspired and part of a lovely community so I thought taking a break would just give me the boost that I needed to get back into it. 

Through loads of twitter conversations I know that a lot of you guys have experienced a similar thing where you get a 'block' and just can't seem to be able to write the content that you want,  and I really recommend taking a break the same way I did if you feel this way, because I really missed it! Not only that but because you're not focussing on your own blog for a little bit, it allows you to sit and read a lot more other blogs than you usually do, which helps even more with feeling inspired because there are so many of you with completely different imaginations. 

As the 2 weeks came to an end, I couldn't think of any better way to get back into the swing of things than meeting up with some other bloggers yesterday in London and going shopping - so. much. fun. I have lots of posts planned, and it's exciting to tell you that the one that will be up next is a 1 year blogging giveaway which I think you're going to love - all will be revealed soon here and on twitter so keep your eyes peeled! 

What are your top tips when you're having a bit of a blogging block? I'd love to know and it may help others out so comment them below! 
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28 April 2014

Let's Chat | Appearance, Weight and Bullying

Image sourced from google images.
This is a topic which has been prominent since I was very young, and I'm sure it has been for you guys too. It really comes as no surprise that people get picked on and discriminated against for their weight, although when I was in high school I definitely thought people would grow out of being so immature. Although it happens to both men and women, I've noticed a far greater pressure on women. 
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18 March 2014

Let's Chat | Be Free


Travel is one thing that I have always been so obsessed with. When I was younger I would always be the one impatiently waiting at the bottom of the stairs in the morning with a suitcase ready to leave for the airport (sometimes a week before.... in my defence I was like six). I am so grateful for all the lovely places that my parents have taken me to because travel has become such an important part of my life, I always feel like it's more than just a holiday, its discovering things that I would never have really been able to comprehend from just hearing about them on the news or in books. That is the reason why I love this quote so much, because it's nice to be reminded that no matter how confined or stressed you may be at certain points in your life, there is always a great adventure waiting to happen, and it doesn't have to be halfway around the world for it to happen. If you're lucky enough it can give you a completely new perspective of the world around you, and remind you just how beautiful it can be.
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14 December 2013

Let's Chat | Time Will Pass

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30 November 2013

Let's Chat | The Fear of Being Wrong


It's so easy for us to fear being wrong, especially when there are a lot of people out there just waiting to tell us so. I think that one of the reasons for starting up a blog was to make sure I didn't fear being wrong, or fear to speak my mind and get judged by others. As you grow up you realise that nobody should have the right to tell us that our creativity is rubbish, or that the things we do to keep us happy are ridiculous. If we all feared being wrong, the world would be a very boring place and we wouldn't be where we are today, I mean how would things ever get invented if people were too scared that it would never work?  My creativity is expressed through my photography and someone could tell me that they think my photography is crap, and maybe in the past it would have affected me, but now I realise that just because someone is negative about it,  doesn't change the fact that my photography makes me happy and its a way of expressing myself to others. You are never going to impress everyone, and that's just something that I have come to accept. Don't let others put you down if it makes you happy. 

Hope that helped you guys think a little about this and I'd be so happy if it helped even just one of you who was maybe feeling down on yourselves.

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23 November 2013

Let's Chat | Holding Life Still


It is truly amazing how you can take a photo of something, whether it be something personal or something that involves others - and look at it years later and trigger so many memories that would never have crossed your mind without it. Every time I look through old photo's of birthdays or past christmases, I am always reminded of the innocence and carefree attitude that we all once had, and although sometimes it can be quite hard-hitting that we can never get back to that place, it would be much more hard-hitting if we were never able to look back into our past at all. One of the many reasons why I love photography.



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9 November 2013

Let's Chat | Travel Makes You Richer

I really love this quote, and it's something that I always remember when I travel, so I thought I'd put it on one of my own photographs. I think that discovering a new place and culture, unveils new perspective in a person, which makes them see the world in a completely different light. Travelling to Barcelona on my own a few years ago, really opened my eyes as to how different the culture over there was compared to living in England, from the food, the way people interacted with each other, and the beautiful places that I would never have known about if I hadn't visited.
It's a great feeling knowing that the potential for realisations like this are endless, and I can't wait to discover new things that hold more beauty than I could possibly have imagined. 

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19 October 2013

Let's Chat | Untamed Nature


Image sourced from google images.
There is nothing quite like walking through a place which is untouched, a place which isn't concerned with the wants or needs of everything and everyone. Places like these give a sense of adventure and mystery like no other, and you can be free to find new spaces that make you feel almost like time is standing still, where there is nothing to remind you of the very busy outside world. The sight of trees taller than you could imagine, untamed greenery that isn't removed to create paths, clusters of mushrooms that weren't intended to be consumed by humans, and the peace you find in the acknowledgement of being surrounded by things which are oblivious to stress. This divide between man and nature is what makes this a topic which I find to be very close to my heart, because these places are some of my favourite places to be, and I hope to photograph as many of them as I can in my lifetime.
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10 October 2013

Let's Chat | Don't Let Failures Define You

Quick inspirational story to send out to you guys....I really really love this one. 
The elephant rope
As a man was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from their bonds but for some reason, they did not.
He saw a trainer nearby and asked why these animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away. “Well,” trainer said, “when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.”
The man was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn’t, they were stuck right where they were.
Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before?
Failure is part of learning; we should never give up the struggle in life.
I completely agree with that story, it felt especially relevant at the moment, as I'll be handing in a lot of assignments and reports, and although I always aim for the best grades, getting a bad grade is not something that I would let stop me from trying hard again!
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28 September 2013

Let's Chat | Get Involved

Image sourced from Addicted2success.com

I realised that nowadays people seem less willing to just get stuck into things, and it seems like the general mindset is a lot different now, compared to when I was a child. I think it's true that unless you're willing to get involved, things will not just come your way.  Sometimes it is due to a lack of confidence but I think that it is starting something which is always the most difficult part, from there it usually gets easier! It is a great way to gain new knowledge and have some amazing new experiences, which I think is always better than taking the back seat in situations and you will probably thank yourself for it. 

Like they say, opportunity dances with those that are already on the dancefloor!
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19 September 2013

Let's Chat | You get what you give



I am finally feeling settled in at my new university accommodation, and it has been great catching up with everyone after being away from each other for the summer. I have put up all my posters, and other little things to make my room feel a bit more homely. I will be making a post on that soon, but for today I will be posting my weekly inspirational story. This week's story is short but I feel as though it is meaningful nonetheless!

     The Pound of Butter

There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to the baker. One day the baker decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting a pound and he found that he was not. This angered him and he took the farmer to court. The judge asked the farmer if he was using any measure. The farmer replied, ''Honor, I am primitive. I don't have a proper measure, but I do have a scale." The judge asked, "Then how do you weigh the butter?" The farmer replied "Your Honor, long before the baker started buying butter from me, I have been buying a pound loaf of bread from him. Every day when the baker brings the bread, I put it on the scale and give him the same weight in butter. If anyone is to be blamed, it is the baker."



I think this story shows that in life, we get back what we give to others. It makes you think of how you would feel if that which you did to another person was done to you. It is very easy to get into a habit of deceiving others, and when it happens for long enough you begin to lose touch with what is truth and what is not. It makes you realise that before you start asking questions about why someone is treating you a certain way, you need to ask yourself how you have been treating them. If you treat someone well, the likelihood is that you will get treated well in return, rather than getting tangled up into a web of lies and deceit. 

What do you think of this? let me know in the comments below! 
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