6 November 2014

Let's Chat | Confidence

Confidence is a weird concept, it can be an amazing thing, but it's definitely weird. You can feel great about yourself one minute and then the next you can feel pretty down in the dumps, and sometimes you can never know what the hell happened to make it change. It's not about physical confidence and the way that you look, I mean that does come into it, but it's being confident within yourself and your abilities that really matters, and everything else basically flows along with that. It's pretty hard to tell what causes us to feel more or less confident in certain situations, but through my life I've learned that if you're not feeling confident within yourself, the words of other people don't really have the same effect. The same thing goes for if you are confident in yourself, the opinions of others won't really bother you because at the end of the day you know what matters, and their opinion isn't it.

Below are a few things I've picked up on which I notice can make us more confident in ourselves and why it's much more important than basing it on what others seem to think of you. I am by no means an expert on any of this and often have to remind myself of them, but I'm lucky to have this platform that you guys read so why not use it to try and spread some happiness and positivity!

1)  Don't change the way you are to impress people or seek their approval of you, everyone you meet will have a different view of you and that's something we have to accept because those views won't always be good, just like your views of others won't always be good. You'll feel a lot better if you don't reflect them to mean that's what you can or can't do, but instead see them for what they are; opinions.

2) Take risks and do things which make you step out of your comfort zone. Whether that is speaking in front of a group, doing a bungee jump or taking up a new hobby that you were too nervous to do, it can literally be anything. The important thing is that when you do things that are out of your comfort zone, you'll feel good knowing that you've done it, it's something you've done for yourself that you didn't need anyone else's help with, and essentially be the first step in growing your confidence in your own abilities.

3) I would say don't compare yourself to other people but that would be pointless because we all do it anyway, but something that I think is important is not to compare yourself in such a negative way. We seem to look up at people and only see how they are so much better than us, rather than trying to find good qualities that you share, and what you have that makes you unique and people would look up at you for. This is something I see a lot among bloggers, comparing ourselves to other bloggers with thousands and thousands of followers and disregarding all of your own creative hard work. Remember that everyone started with zero followers at one point, and there's nothing to stop you from achieving what you have your sights on.

4) Although it's not the most important thing, your appearance can boost your confidence dramatically whether it be wearing certain clothes, having a different hairstyle or playing around with makeup. If it makes you feel more confident in yourself then do it! As important as it is to embrace the way you look naturally, I know as much as the next person that making an extra effort and enhancing what you already have can definitely make you feel a lot better about yourself when you need it! 

5) Remind yourself that perfection does not exist, whether that be physically or mentally. People in magazines are airbrushed within an inch of their lives so comparing yourself to them is like comparing to something that doesn't actually exist - a sure way to make your self-confidence plummet! And there isn't a person out there that doesn't have things in their personality which they see as 'flaws'. They are what make us unique and what one person sees as a flaw, someone else could love about you - If we didn't have them we would be like robots and where would the fun in that be?!

6) If you can help it, try to surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself, and spend as little time as you can with those who don't and try to bring you down. As much as it is about your own self-confidence, it doesn't hurt to spend time with people who make you happy!

7) Smile, you'd be surprised how much positive energy you get back from people when you give it out too, and that's definitely something that can boost your confidence!

So those are my tips and thoughts on confidence - I would love to know if you use them yourself or if you have any I haven't mentioned, do leave them below in the comments! 

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